Hostility

so people actually look at my posts? WTF OMG KMN I AM SO EMBARRASSED

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME I KEEP GETTING RETARDED PROMOTIONS ITS SO SAD (yo you might have to click the GIF to see it idek)

UGH STUPID EBAY APP DOESN'T LET YOU SEE THE COMPLETE DETAILS OF THE PRODUCT AND NOW I'M STUCK WITH A STUPID VIOLIN THAT HAS A FUCKING PLASTIC FINGERBOARD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I HAVE TO USE THAT SHIT TO LEARN VIOLIN BEFORE I AM ALLOWED TO BUY A NEW ONE WTF

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'LL BE TO LEARN VIOLIN WHEN THE DAMN SHIT MAKES TWANGY SOUNDS BECAUSE OF THE PLASTIC DAMN YOU

 

DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT I CAN USE IT TO SHOW YOUR EARS WHAT TRUE TORTURE IS

 

Blame me for everything, take everything for yourself and then you think you have the right to tell me to 'get over myself'. For crying out loud look at yourself first.

I know people don't like me, so stop repeating yourself. It's not the best feeling in the world, you know, to have the knowledge that a majority of your peers dislike you.

I mean, I didn't ever do anything to them. I never spoke to them because I was shy, I didn't do anything to them to make them hate me, but they hate me. I know that, so stop telling me every time someone says they dislike me.

It hurts, you know. Because I have emotions too, and a lot of people often tend to forget that I'm also alive, I'm also human.

I also have feelings; I am a person, too.

There's a limit to hostility, you know. Going on about how I always note a change in your overall self is annoying yet when I won't talk you won't stop asking me what's wrong. Make up you mind, because I'm almost at my limit of self-hate and insecurity. People are always giving me strange looks and I don't know why, and considering my lack of will to talk at all, you should be glad that I still do.

There are people who have never heard me talk, there are people who have seen me talk but never heard my voice. I may stop talking, and it won't be willingly either -- it'll be because of the fact that I have given up on everyhing, even trying to convey my thoughts or feelings directly into your ears. And it's because you say stuff like this that I do. It's because everyone's always talking about how much I annoy them by talking too much; that I have an annoying voice.

Well, excuse me.

I'm sorry.

The one thing that makes me most upset is when I work really hard for something and it all ends in vain. Story of my life, really. All that happens is that I lose. I try really hard every time, but fail. I've never won anything, or gotten anyhing over 70% on an exam.

People don't like me and I have no idea why, because I haven't actually spoken to them, I haven't said anything to make them hate me, yet they still avoid me and just throw some looks at me that only make my self-esteem plummet by 150% .

I started crying this morning, I don't know why. The smallest of things, and somethimes even nothing, makes me cry lately. I can stop, but I often don't want to. It just feels so relieving to let it all out -- cry and cry and cry until I can't cry anymore. What is up with it? My siblings hating me, my peers dislike me, I can only stay in my room, doing nothing and saying nothing -- not even looking at anyone, that's what nakes me feel happiest. There's no reason ... Read more »

Jaa Nee~!